A Crisis of Faith
cartoon Copyright Jean Burman 2007
I was saddened this week by the sensationalised revelations of Mother Teresa’s longstanding crisis of faith. Don’t get me wrong… I was not saddened because she had experienced a crisis of faith… (and had long believed she had been abandoned by her God)… but saddened because the world got to know about it!
It is an unfortunate fact that people… being what they are… will now more than likely put whatever self serving spin on it they like and as is often the case… the truth may be the first and ultimate casualty.
One overlooked truth of course is… there are certain things that should remain sacrosanct between a human soul and her God… (which is how she had wanted it)… but this sentiment was apparently not shared by her church!
But now that the cat is out of the bag… the atheists and agnostics alike will no doubt take the opportunity to see her revelations as confirmation that God does not exist. The deeply religious will see it as proof that God does indeed exist… arguing “how else could this amazing woman “hold out” for so long in her good works… without losing her deep faith in a God she was (apparently) unable to reach?”
Perhaps the truth can be found somewhere in the middle. Or perhaps it can never be found at all… as the true intimacy of her tormented thoughts have passed on with her… (it would be hoped) into the “fulfillment” of eternal life.
Whilst I think it is contemptible that her confessions have been exposed against her wishes to the misinterpretation of the masses… I find it strangely intriguing that I am unable to resist the urge to examine some of the questions her confessions raised for me. (So as you will see… I am as guilty as the rest! LOL)
Whilst most of us haven’t (and more than possibly could not have) lived a life so totally devoted and dedicated to humanity as Mother Theresa’s was… I suspect that many of us may understand (even if only slightly) how she might have felt… and may even have experienced some small degree of parallel in our own dealings with God… (whomever we perceive the entity to be).
Bizarre as it may seem… I see a parallel here for artists too! And I guess… for every vocation where someone invests their heart into their work… this may well be the case. But in particular for the creative artist… the road is long… and the rewards can seem “thin on the ground”.
Not only are artists attempting to attract the attention of a fickle (sometimes) uninformed audience… but even if the audience does notice the work… rarely is it able to acknowledge the “artistic voice” in a language it can understand.
Monetary reward is one thing for the working artist… but always… always there is the deep intangible yearning for something more. It’s that something more that has sometimes driven artists throughout millenia to desperation and despair. Artists are often their own harshest critics… playing the game by a set of rules that others find difficult to interpret. The bar is high… and becoming ever higher… the vocal critics have the majority… and an apathetic voiceless (and dare I say it “artless”) audience can often appear to be sitting it out on the fence without an opinion (okay… a little harsh maybe! *wink* LOL)
Don’t get me wrong… I am not for a moment suggesting that the plight of the struggling artist can be compared to the selfless struggle that Mother Thesesa faced over a lifetime of saving the poor of Calcutta. On the contrary… I am simply observing the parallel in order to better understand her torment… and hopefully find some common ground for the rest of us.
I am wondering then… if Mother Theresa’s deep spiritual longing could have been… in essence… the unquenched thirst for (not only affirmation that she was on the right track)… but also… the ultimate recognition for a job well done? She certainly didn’t need this recognition (in her case… spiritual fulfillment) to carry on… but perhaps a positive spiritual endorsement from an “available” God could have made the journey far easier to bear.
But maybe that was not God’s intention. Maybe he trusted her more than anyone else to never give up… no matter how hard it got… and despite the perceived withdrawal of “spiritual” recognition and perhaps even because of it… she did even more good works!
Call me way too simplistic… but could it be that somewhere in this small parallel… there is a God-sent lesson for us all?
Just thinking… 
October 10th, 2007 at 6:25 am
Hi Jean,
For me personally, Mother Theresa has always been a human being that simply gave of herself to help others - she personified “christianity”….the love of mankind. Not being a perfect example of christian myself, I never judged her motives, nor her beliefs. I looked at her selflessness and her heart. What you say is true…her confessions will now be ripped apart and “sold” to the highest bidder. What a tragic end for such wonderful human being who just gave of herself. Those who will be in the “dog fight” I would imagine, are those who could never do what she has done. Tearing down her “status” will make them feel better about themselves, those who understood and admired her will not have that “need”!
“The love of ourselves is reflected in our ability to accept others!” - Gerar Toye.
I see your parallel within the world of artists…our biggest and most cynical critics are the ones who do not paint or cannot paint.
October 10th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Jools… hopefully most people will see this for what it is. She was indeed a beautiful soul and an exemplary human being and the knowledge that she too struggled with her faith will no doubt strengthen the love and respect that so many have for her. I am placing my faith in human nature that this will be how she will be remembered.
Thanks for taking the time to comment!
October 10th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
To me, it is not a negative thing to know that Mother Teresa may have struggled at times with her faith. In fact, it makes her more real–more human to me. Yes, I realize that there are those who will jump at the chance to tear down her faith, but somehow I can’t believe that they will be in the majority. I cannot imagine that she would not dispair at times seeing so much suffering. She must have been overwhelmed at times by the enormity of the task she had set herself to. That does not diminish her in my eyes.
I see your comparison to artists–we also struggle to create the art we envision in our hearts, and reach our target audience in the way we wish–often feeling very much alone and incompetent. Just one simple word of encouragement can give us the strength to press on.
I was raised to expect my faith to be tested, and that the tests might sometimes seem cruel, but also that I would never be given a test that I could not pass if I relied on my faith.
October 10th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Thanks for commenting Anita… I wholeheartedly agree! I think this makes her struggle (and her good works) all the more powerful… and inspiring!
I am so pleased you saw the parallel with artists (phew!) :-/ I was a little concerned afterward that some might see the comparison as trivial… but I meant no offence.
It’s interesting how things turn out… through the exposure of her innermost struggles… Mother Theresa’s legacy may prove to be even greater than she could have perhaps imagined. That has to be a very good thing!
This little poem seems rather apt for now:
I Asked
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve:
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey …
I asked for health, that I might do great things:
I was given illness, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy:
I was given poverty, that I might be wise …
I asked for power, that I might have people’s praise:
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life:
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for …
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayer was answered;
I am among all people most richly blessed.
October 10th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
When people ask me if I am an artist I usually answer, ” I draw and paint. Whether that makes me an artist is a matter of individual opinion.” With regard to Mother Theresa’s spiritual crisis my concern is whether she wanted anyone to find out about it. If she did then each of can make of it what they will. If she did not then this is still another example of the perversion of our media infested age. I am reminded of what George Orwell said of Ghandi, What a clean smell he left behid.”
October 10th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Hi Roger… thanks for your comments
It has been reported that she documented her struggles in letters to her superiors over a period of some 66 years. It was suggested by her superiors that she write her feelings down after she had been unable to verbalise them. She had asked for the letters to be destroyed… but the church must have thought differently of it. Now they have been published in a book entitled “Mother Theresa: Come Be My Light” compiled by Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:48 am
Roger, you are right of course–I had thought that as well. In publishing the book, the Reverend broke a trust in my opinion, even though the outcome might not hurt the memory of her and all the good she did. I’m sure he felt that the end justified the means, but she would not have been happy about it, I’m sure. That might be the most important thing to consider.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:25 am
QUOTE whether that makes me an artist is a matter of individual opinionUNQUOTE
Roger… (LOL) remember what St. Francis of Assisi said:
“He who works with his hands is a labourer,
He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman
He would works with his hands and his head and his heart is an ARTIST”
I think you more than qualify!!!
October 11th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Please destroy any letters or anything I have written.
— to Picachy, April 1959
It appears… from the report I read that Mother Teresa’s rationale for suppressing her personal correspondence was “I want the work to remain only His.” She felt that if the letters became public “people will think more of me — less of Jesus.”
And I guess she was right in that. Through the publication of her letters one can’t help but admire her more!
Anita you’re right. If there has been a breach of trust (and it looks pretty much like there has!)… then the perceived value must be weighed against the ethics of such a breach. It’s a curly one… (!)
October 11th, 2007 at 9:52 am
I have been all things unholy.
If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.
-St. Francis de Assisi
I love this quote (also from St. Francis of Assisi).
So maybe (just maybe) there is hope for us all then? (((LOL)))
October 11th, 2007 at 11:20 am
I am an atheist. I admire Mother Theresa’s work. Many years ago I adopted Sr. Francis name at my confirmation, for I was so moved by his writings.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
St. Francis sounds as though he was a man ahead of his time… an advocate for the environment and all living creatures. Lots to admire about him too. He came up from the wrong side of the tracks and went on to become a saint. Goodness doesn’t get much better than that! LOL
Roger… I don’t have a particular label… despite my mother’s best efforts. I am Christian however… and will always be open to goodness… honesty… and kindness. So if any religion can fit that criteria in this day and age… I’m in. Until then… I will just try my best to be good! LOL
I had this conversation with my brother yesterday. It’s hard for me to not believe in “something”. I am alive… I am breathing… I can see… I can talk… I can walk… I had babies (wow what a miracle that was!)… I can walk on the beach with the breeze in my face… and wonder at the night sky full of stars… everyday “miracles” are everywhere. My faith… I guess… lies in the small things that are beyond explanation.
October 11th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
I have felt all those things. Except having babies but I paced the waiting room.lol I guess I stand with the mathmatician LaPlace.” I find God an unnecessary hypothesis.” I am not militant about it although when religious scandals erupt I sometimes think I should be.
October 12th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Fair enough Roger…
October 15th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Again, wonderful cartoon. But how often do we artists look at our finished work and think, “it’s not quite what I had in mind?”
Your commentary, Jean, put me in mind of Steven Pinker’s book, “How the Mind Works.” Pinker, a brilliant cognitive scientist, tells of seeing an exhibit on butterflies at the Smithsonian Institute. Admiring its perfection he thought that if ever one needed proof of Darwin’s theories this was it. At that moment a women next to him, who had also been gazing at the exhibit, exclaimed that if ever anyone needed proof of God’s existence, this was it.
October 15th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
hahaha… precisely John! Thanks for your comments!