artwork & content Copyright Jean Burman 2007
Well it’s that time of year again… already! That time… when all is calm and all is bright… when sleigh bells ring (if you’re listening)… and the snow is a’ glistening…. and it’s a beautiful sight and we’re happy tonight cos we’re walking in a winter wonderland… ahhhhh… *sigh*
….zzzzzzzzzrrrrrrrrruuuuppppppp… Huh?
Yeah… right-o then! Cos nothing… but nothing could be further from the truth in the “blistering” heat of a true blue Aussie Christmas… (whatever a true blue Aussie Christmas is… that is!)
Many have tried over the years to analyse just what constitutes Christmas in the Antipodes but the quintessential Aussie Christmas is still a bit of a mystery (even to we Aussies) steeped as it is in the stereotype of the time honoured tradition of backyard barbies and brawls with the rellies… as the heat-induced stress-stroke of the season sets in! Some people do go a little troppo at this time of the year from the heat… others are pretty much dingo-bango all year round… (but that’s another story for another day) 
But whoever we are… it is a perplexing and confusing time of the year for most Aussies… as traditional images of a Northern Hemisphere Christmas are seen emblazened across everything from billboards to greeting cards… and fir trees sprinkled with fake snow line the supermarket aisles and even the streets!
Many have tried in the past to shake these “frozen” images from our social consciousness by replacing Santa’s reindeer with the old “six white boomers routine” (they’re kangaroos in case you were wondering) and replacing the words of favourite christmas carols with improvised aussie lyrics (all of which simply just don’t wash).
And so it would apparently seem… as the big day approaches… here we all are “high and wrung out to dry” in our stubbies singlets and thongs waiting on our surfboards for the next wave!
But perhaps this is far too theatrical a description of Christmas… celebrated here (as it is) in high summer… and the truth probably lies somewhere vaguely… well… somewhere else!
So to put paid to all myths and stereotypes… in reality
92% of Aussies eat Christmas Dinner in the comfort of their air conditioned homes where
70% will enjoy traditionally cooked Christmas Fare including turkey, baked ham and Christmas Pud!
56% of us agree that spending time with family and friends is the very best thing about Christmas.
Less than 10% of Aussies say that giving and receiving of presents is the highlight of the day (kids were obviously not consulted in this survey! -grin-)
75% expect to eat too much (ah but a moment on the lips… then forever on the hips!)
and only 43% are annoyed by the heat (there was however no mention of flies!)
And when asked to sum up their feelings for Christmas in just one word… these words were the most commonly expressed…
HAPPY – EXCITING – SPECIAL – FUN – FAMILY – RELAXING – EXHAUSTING – HECTIC – WONDERFUL – JOYFUL – FANTASTIC – ENJOYABLE…
Clearly… we are a pretty confused bunch! But when it comes down to the wire… I guess you could say that Aussies celebrate Christmas pretty much like everyone else on the planet… it may be hot as hell… but we just get around it by getting on with having a great time!
IT’S BEEN A BUSY 18 DAYS SINCE MY LAST POST
during which time…
1. I helped my brother sell and pack up the family beach house at Bingil Bay which was built by my Dad and two brothers in 1980 on a block of land my parents bought back in 1974 (to ease their pain and provide a focus) two years after the tragic death of my older brother. With Mum and Dad now gone there seemed little point in holding onto it any longer. There was always the ongoing maintenance of a house near the sea… and the need for someone to make the 2 hour journey on a regular basis to keep a check on things. It was time.
So it has been an emotionally charged couple of weeks… packing up the last of our family memories from over that time… all of which are now neatly contained within the four sides of two tightly packed tea chests containing photographs and precious letters of our exchanges over the years. Maybe one day I will find the strength and courage to read them all again!
Many of you will remember how Cyclone Larry passed through the area 18 months ago. Here is our little beach house after the storm!
… and here it is 18 months later (there is no accounting for the rejuvenative powers of the tropics!)
2. I also hosted a Christmas Lunch for 60 for the First Wednesday Lunch Club (held on the second Wednesday of course! -grin-)… for which I also baked, iced and decorated the Christmas Cake. Man… was that a production! And I am definitely not about to give up my day job. Up to my elbows in mixed chopped fruit… I was high as a kite for a week on the “wafting aroma” of over-proof rum and cognac! Here is the finished work!
So… all in all it’s been a hectic lead up to Christmas here… but I have managed to decorate our home with Christmas cheer… despite the fact we don’t have a Christmas tree this year… as someone (who shall remain nameless cos I’m going to kill him -grin-)… in his over-enthusiastic efforts to clear out the garage managed to jettison the neatly-boxed and clearly-marked “Christmas Tree” into the skip bin destined for the landfill! I sent him out to look for it… but so far NO LUCK! I could go out and buy a new one… but where would be the fun in that!? *wink* and (big cheeky grin)
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE – may the joy of the season be overwhelming!
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
And a very Happy Christmas to all ….your beach parties sound wonderful in a brrrrrrrrrof a Scottish frost soon to turn wet. My dearly beloved butler has to sign himself into our IRH (Hospital ) on Monday How long for is in the hands of the MO
I will be parked in front of the TV with the mobile to hand . All going well Christmas dinner will be Boxing day with part of the family unless…..other half are an unknown quantity .Others have their own family traditions . As the cards flow in we stress we have missed someone out …same old. Was Bethlehem cold and frosty or beaming hot and steamy ? Maybe in between somewhere .
Happy,Happy time to you all wherever you are
Elinor… I will be thinking of you and Carson on Monday and hope that all will be well and he will be discharged in time for Christmas Dinner on Boxing Day! You know by now that Christmas (like all decent celebrations worth their salt) never runs smooth and the day can take on many shapes and forms. The trick (I think) is to relax and just go with the flow… took me almost forever to figure that one out… but you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men! Wherever you are… just know that you have very many friends from all around the world who will be thinking of you and wishing you well! Take care my friend… J.
btw… the postman came today with a mysterious parcel with a Scottish postmark… I was so shocked and excited I almost fell off me perch! LOL THANK YOU Elinor… (I can’t wait to play that CD) Will email you as soon as I do… J
Ho,Ho,Ho Santa
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPSPLURGLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE….SPLAT!!!!!
Did I getcha Jean?! That was a COLD Christmas snowball thrown all the way from Chicago! (I’m famous for my throwing arm don’t ya know…)
I used to get such a chuckle at all the fake snowmen and such when we lived in southern California. Of course, that is the epicenter of fake, (fake faces, boobs, personalities, you name it!)
I love your post! As always, so honest and endearing. Your cake is stunning too! Have a marvelous holiday and keep cool!
PS. Wonderful cartoon too! You are so creative!
Your article was worth the wait, Jean. What a charming and delightful portrait of life in the upper hemisphere. It would have made me feel like I was there were it not for the rainy chill that has settled over SoCal for the past few days. (The rain is real, Mary! ) I want some of that Christmas cake!
And I love the cartoon. Who woulda thunk it, Santa slithering in through the a/c. LOL.
Are you sure about that John??? I keep hearing about drought…could be your sprinkler let loose…
Way cool Jean!!! Claire and I watched the video twice as Claire sang backup vocals!! She was thrilled !!!! Your cartoon too gave me a good chuckle – how does Santa get in????
And your cake…good grief, that deserves a light show of its own – well done girlie!!! And your beach house..wow, good to see how well the garden recovered, but sad it is the end of an era for you!
Its such a thrill to me, to see how traditions vary all over the world..yet the sentiment remains the same and here in Australia we may be laid back and a bit on the casual side (as your video promotes..Lol!) we still have the universal idea that Christmas is all about giving and sharing and remembering those who we cannot be with. My heartfelt wishes go out to you and every one else who visits you, for a very merry Christmas and a safe and welcoming 2008!!
Elinor…think on those who love you and your heart will be full!!! A special wish just for you and C!!!!
Merry Christmas to you, Jean!!! Thanks for the Christmas cheer! You have brought joy to my day. Loved your cake. Always love your cartoons. The video was wonderfully funny!!! And oh that is so nice to see the vegetation recovered (not to mention the house) from the storm, but I know it must have been emotional to let go of it all. Savor those letters when you get around to reading them.
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year to all of you!
My son and d-in-law arrive today. We will be having a venison dinner (I shot the deer from my back porch in my pajamas-how it got in my pajamas I”ll never know) Grandaughter and grandson had their winter concert at school she plays trombone, he baritone horn. Prepaing for cruise from Valparaiso, Chile to Rio leaving Jan 7 getting back Jan 27. I started drawing again on my 2000 cruise. The deer have eaten most of the viburnum I planted so I thought I get a little bit back. Merry Christmas to all!
It’s one thing to eat your viburnam Roger…but to get into your pj’s too? A person can only take so much! I hope you enjoy your Christmas dinner!
hahaha… that’s sooooo funny Roger! (((LOL)))
Mary… I got that Chicago snowball you hurled… great shot! (I put it in the freezer)… THANKS! LOL. Sending back every good wish to you and your boys for a very Happy Christmas!
And thanks too John for stopping by… (at last another convert to the dubious upside down map theory…LOL ) I can’t believe it’s actually raining in sunny California… I didn’t think it was supposed to do that… Mary’s right… you might want to check on the whereabouts of your sprinkler! LOL Personally I like it when it rains for Christmas… makes a change from warm and sunny and makes it kinda cosy for a change! Have a lovely Christmas won’t you?
Thanks Jools!
I’m pleased you and Claire enjoyed the video clip… I dug it up on You Tube after you mentioned the rusty Holden ute version of the song and thought it was pretty funny! Christmas can be a crazy time of year… but this year I have made a point of slowing down and letting it seep in around me … (able to be done when there are no small kids in the house and you don’t have to sneak out to the shops to buy their presents at a quarter to midnight when they finally go to sleep (after being awake throughout all of December!) LOL Realistically though… I miss the kiddie years… it’s what Christmas is really all about isn’t it? Have a lovely Christmas Jools… 2008 is going to be a bonza year for you!
Thanks for the good wishes Vernita! So pleased you enjoyed my humble Christmas offering… it was a long time coming but I made it just in the “nick” of time! LOL I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family all around you… btw how is your Dad? Say hello to him and wish him a very Merry Christmas from me okay?
Roger! I’ve heard of bananas in pyjamas but never a DEER! Man.. those PJs would be way crowded and things could get seriously dangerous… especially if there were guns involved! But I agree… anyone who eats the viburnum deserves a roasting! (((LOL))) Have a great Christmas and say g’day to your daughter in law for me!
Oh Roger you have so cheered me up Good job it wasn’t a goat or your PJs might have been eaten hehe.
I did mean to say Jean that your cake is a proffessional job .Have you any wee boxes by any chance
Thanks Elinor! I’ve gotta say… the cake was a real “seat of the pants” operation (apologies to Roger for borrowing the analogy! LOL) I always make a Christmas cake for “us”… but never one quite so… well… LARGE! I was (literally) up to my elbows in the mixture and couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of those who had gone this way before me… now laughing it up at my expense! LOL Surprisingly the crowd made short work of it in under 2 hours! No… I can’t believe it’s gone either! LOL
Elinor… it’s Monday (Christmas Eve) here so I guess the Butler has either been admitted or is about to be. So let’s hope he gets “good behaviour” and will be out in no time! Go easy on the TV remote tho okay? *wink* LOL
Merry Christmas One and All… I wish you peace and happiness throughout the coming days… wherever in the world you find yourself…
Merry Christmas Jean!!!!!!!!
Phew …Doc phoned to say his platelets were up tp 20 so he could stay at home until Thursday….but to rest huh? thats a joke ! She also cleared the two head bump bruises as quite normal . They look bad but not leaking . Thanks Jean the support has been phenominal …….I even had a phone call from NSW guess who ?
OOPS I ALMOST FORGOT HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
That’s the very BEST Christmas present ever Elinor… Yippee!!!
Trusting that your Christmas went smoothly Jean…that everyone filled right up on your cullinary delights and swooned over gifts and being all together!!!!!
Mine was very quiet, but enjoyable!!!!!
Thanks Jools! Yes… it was for the most part (the important family part) wonderful! Gifts to a minimum this year… a conscious decision on the part of all to keep the celebration simple and to the point. We headed up to the beach for a couple of days which (despite the hovering low pressure system) was a lot of fun. We did however have a bit of bad luck overnight on Boxing Day when our car went under water in a flash flood in the hotel carpark! To add insult to injury… their attitude… “all care but no responsibility”. It was trucked back to Cairns and now lies in a billion bits at the dealership “drying out”. With humidity currently running at around 90 percent this could take a while! The prognosis for the electronics is not good. *sigh* Why is it we can never have the good without the bad? *wink* (still smiling)… LOL
As long as you are still smiling Jean (thumbs up and cheering you on!!!). We have had weather warnings with flash floods down here too…have you got your snorkel and goggles and flippers out????? Lol!
Aw Jean, I’m so sorry! That really stinks! I’m thankful though, that you were not caught up in that flash flood! (And still smiling!). Be safe dear cyber friend!! (You too Jools!!!)