Christian Lander “Stuff White People Like” & Ben Pobjie
I never knew that white people liked stuff that other people didn’t until last Saturday… but apparently it’s true. White people are unique! Well that’s according to internet guru Christian Lander anyway… on his recently gone-viral tongue in cheek blog site Stuff White People Like.
According to the Book
QUOTE [They pretend to be unique, yet somehow they’re all exactly the same. They are down with diversity and up on all the best microbrews, breakfast spots, foreign cinema, and authentic sushi. They’re organic, ironic, and do not own TVs. You know who they are: They’re white people. And they’re here, and you’re gonna have to deal. Fortunately, here’s a book that investigates, explains, and offers advice for finding social success with the Caucasian persuasion] UNQUOTE
The book in question is (yes you guessed it) the recently released hard copy version of his wildly popular blog site Stuff White People Like. And it was being discussed in conversation with the author at the Sydney Writer’s Festival last weekend.
How I came to be in the audience is another story and… oh all right then if you insist ~grin~
About a month ago I thought “you know… I really should go to the Sydney Writer’s Festival”… then promptly forgot all about it. Then last Thursday I received an email offering me complimentary tickets to the Christian Lander session. I’d never heard of him. But in the spirit of following the Universe to it’s natural conclusion I thought… well heck… why not?
The World’s Largest Coathanger
I booked my flight for Saturday and set the alarm for an early start. The day dawned wet and incredibly windy. The tail end of the low pressure system that had wreaked havoc and brought wild weather to the coast had sent thousands of like minded people (all white no doubt like me) clammering for the airport.
Driving around in the dark with not a carpark in sight… I spotted a fluorescently-clad/torch-wielding gentleman who directed me with a wry smile to the farthest reaches of the long term car park.
“Hope you’ve got a brolley!” he called after me.
Don’t you just hate attempted good humour so early in the morning?
Negotiating the mud puddles on foot… in blinding rain and with my umbrella by now turned hopelessly inside out… I not only cursed the fact that I could have still been tucked up in bed… but also that I could have been dropped right to the door if I hadn’t been so damned stubborn about taking the car… *sigh*
By now thoroughly drenched… I stumbled into the terminal building… took my chances with electrocution at the check-in kiosk… and then headed for security. A couple of good humoured security people then decided to put me… my soggy carry-on and hysterically dilapidated umbrella through the hoops. And then for good measure and because they were being so funny… I scored the explosives test as well! Bizarre isn’t it? Why… when everything is too wet to strike a match some fool decides to look for explosives?
That done… next stop was the ladies room for a quick buzz of the hair under the hand dryer. As you do. Funny how those things don’t stay on unless you’re drying your hands. I mean… how does it know if it’s your head or your hand stuck under there? But it does. Apparently. You know that don’t you?
After much ado about nothing… I made it onto the plane and arrived in Sydney late but relatively intact. My brother had enjoyed breakfast in the Qantas lounge while killing time waiting for the flight… and then we headed straight for the Writer’s Festival venue at the historical Heritage Pier in The Rocks. Even though it was still early… the multiple venues were packed and people were queuing along the wharves in a patient good natured manner (as they do).
Queues of perfectly ordinary white people – Heritage Pier Sydney
The conversation with Christian Lander and facilitated by NewMatilda resident satirist Ben Pobjie was both entertaining and enlightening. He’s a very funny guy despite how he looks. He can’t help it. He’s white. They both were in fact. I think it’s a conspiracy. *wink* LOL
More perfectly ordinary white people – (the book signing queue)
As the session drew to a close the audience was invited to queue for the book signing. Barry turned to me and asked if I wanted to join the queue and get a copy. What? No way! Not this little (white) girl (insert smug knowing smile) I wouldn’t be seen dead in that queue!
Not now… especially not now! Not after what I’d just heard and knowing what I now know about white people and how they claim independent thought yet clump pretentiously together clammering after brand names and for whatever cause! ~grin~
Stragglers break ranks over a nice cup of coffee
Seriously though (if only just for a minute) I couldn’t help but wonder about the irony of it all. How come so many (totally cool) white folks automatically fell into line? I mean… if being white means you’re unique… an individual… unwilling to follow the mob and accept the status quo… why then be seen in a queue? *wink*
A puzzling phenomenon perhaps only the author could answer… but by now… he was simply too busy signing to comment!
It was a fun weekend. And you will be happy to know that the flight home on Sunday night was completely uneventful. I recovered my car in the middle of a mud puddle in the far top corner of the (by now) empty carpark. The parking attendant was nowhere in sight. ((chuckles))
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I do enjoy reading your blog posts. It’s such a good way to start the day, and this one (like so many others) had me laughing all the way through. Thanks for the good morning cheer, Jean! I hope you are doing well.
Delightful post, Jean. I wonder though, do only white people try to dry their hair with a hand dryer in airport lavs?
Thanks Vernita
Thanks too John and YES… especially white (women)! LOL
Hey Jean…what a truley entertaining blog!! lol, your description of the hand dryer took me back to my “disco days”, where I would race into the loo, dripping with over zealously gained sweat from dancing my little heart out and then return with the once again fluffy “big” hair that was my crowning glory and fashion statement from that era!
Isn’t it funny how the “free thinking” white folk have to be told what is good???? I think of radio stations plugging the life out of songs to make them “popular”, how movies are rated and how seriously ridiculous fashion attempts become fads! I think the secret is to “make” something look popular and then …it is!! Lol!! Ofcourse every now and then we get to make up our own minds, phew!!
Fads are funny things. I sometimes wonder about the maverick souls who invent them… be it a word… or a thing. Humans seem to love trends. Even those who swear black and blue they don’t follow them eventually unknowingly succumb… as trends pass into common usage… and everyone forgets that it was once a fad in the first place LOL Complicated eh? And everyone knows of course that it’s not just white people who do this. Labelling the phenomenon as Stuff White People Like was a clever ruse to avoid upsetting minorities. Imagine for one moment if he’d used any other demographic in the analogy? There would have been an outrageous hue and cry. There are enough of us white people out there to safely laugh at ourselves for being perfectly ordinary run of the mill human beings! LOL
Re the hair (hand) dryer. I learned this trick lots of years ago at a very swank under the stars “black tie event”. When the stars gave way to heavy rain the lucky few sought refuge under their table. The rest ran a mad dash to the Ladies Room where streams of bedraggled ball gowns and uncoiffed coiffures hung in limp succession. There was a line up for the hand dryer… which I remember thinking at the time was a novel solution to the problem. White people really are innovative in whatever they do… don’t you think? Especially white women… (((LOL)))
OH Jean! You just make me laugh so! I love the new look of your blog too…When are you going to publish a book?
Thanks Mary!
Coming soon. Fingers and toes crossed.
How are you enjoying Summer? Day one today. Day one of Winter for we Antipodeans. LOL Hope you are having some well earned sunshine in Chicagoland!
Not much sunshine but I don’t mind. Tomorrow I’m driving north to Kenosha with a dear artblog friend from Texas to see the Transparent Watercolor Society of America’s show. It’s amazing what kindred souls the interenet can bring together! Now…if I buy your book how am I going to get you to sign it? I suppose I can figure that out once we cross that bridge! I always jump the gun!
Mary… if/when the book is published I will hand deliver you a signed copy on my world book tour! (chuckles) Can’t think of a better excuse to come visit a good friend in Chicago! And who knows… things have been weird enough lately that absolutely anything might happen. I just have to remind myself to keep the faith that just as bad things shall pass… good things shall come in due course! See you in September (but maybe next year okay?) LOL
Enjoy the TWSA show!