“For all of us who are alive, life is the real issue. Yet so often we judge our existence by the things that happen to us—by whether things are going our way or not. Sometimes we feel strong—strong enough to dictate our future. Sometimes we feel that we can make things happen. Then there are times when we feel totally helpless. But through all the dramas and bumps, there is life. [Right there] is the very powerful, very existence of every single human being.” – Prem Rawat
I believe that people come into and go out of our lives for a reason. Just what that reason is… and what it might mean for us into the future… is often so difficult to understand at the time.
I also firmly believe there is a divine purpose to every single human encounter. That nothing is ever for nothing. And every experience happy or sad goes toward the eventual telling of our own unique life story.
Twenty days into 2010… it’s already been quite a year for me!
As the aircraft took off into the clear blue afternoon sky my heart was heavy. So I put on my headphones… looked out of the window and listened to the inflight music as the sad grey cloak of the city dropped away beneath me and the plane turned sharply toward home. [No Jackie... I promise I won't play the music here. grin]
I had been hoping a week in the city might bring some clearer definition to my life. I was feeling incredibly restless and impatient to get on with things… and felt bogged down and in need of a break.
As the plane tracked north over the Great Barrier Reef… the joy of realising that I was returning to [arguably] one of the most beautiful locations on Planet Earth filled me with renewed optimism and hope for the future.
Gazing out over the incredible majesty of the Reef… I felt the fire in my belly return after a protracted period of wondering “Where To Now?” It felt good to be going home… even if “home” for me is still a somewhat abstract ideal. Grin.
Maybe the city isn’t for me just yet.
Maybe it never will be.
[Interesting how I took no photos while there - yet here that's all I do]
But it was an interesting week of serendipitous occurrences and bittersweet times that ended all too soon.
On the first day I walked to the Gardens and managed to get myself caged in by workmen erecting fences around its perimeter for an events company. It was something quite hilarious being the only one trapped on the inside trying to get out!
That afternoon I saw a man [decked out in a business suit] row his dinghy across the river to a small yacht moored in the middle [it struck me as something kind of wonderful - here was a man living on a boat in the middle of the concrete jungle - yet so very much on his own terms!]
Throughout the week I caught up with a number of people… and coincidentally bumped into a friend from out of town whom I hadn’t seen in years… not once but twice on different occasions… in the very same spot in the middle of the city. How on earth does that happen?
We celebrated the chances over high tea at the Rose “something or other” in an upstairs arcade… joined by a good friend I [never] knew at boarding school but now know really quite well. It’s complicated.
I rediscovered the toy department through the eyes of a child.
And held a small hand at the shops. How lovely!
I walked for miles in ridiculous shoes and got blisters all over my feet.
I had lunch with my 96 year old aunt [who still paints]… and cousins from all over the place I hadn’t seen in almost forever.
I saw two movies [one with a profound message despite the crazy 3D glasses - the other the story of Keats]
I swam in a freezing cold pool with a wonderful friend… then thawed out in a hot spa. We caught the night ferry… ate out a lot… and talked for hours on end about a number of things.
I met a man in a wheelchair [with the most beautiful smile] who simply GOT life better than most people I know. He had it all figured out better than anyone. There were things he simply just knew. And although he didn’t know me at all… I knew that he knew I “knew” too. Now go figure that one out! Grin.
I spent time with my daughter who came up for a couple of days from the Coast. We always get on like a house on fire. This time was no different.
Her profound observation of the current doings in my life… was that my Universe [of late] “sure was delivering me lessons at an incredible rate”. I resisted the urge to alert her to the fact that she could have been severely understating it!
Clearly… there are things I am meant to learn… and learn quickly it would seem… [for whatever reason].
So I’ve decided to slow down a bit… and just let things be. Let the Universe soak in around me.
To this end… back home on Sunday… I drove flat out with the music on full volume along the winding length of the coast road up to Port Douglas [and um… slowing down does not preclude driving fast for medicinal purposes]
What a glorious sense of freedom!
The sea was a millpond and the reflected light exquisite.
This winding stretch of road never fails to lift my spirits.
A piece of freshly baked pineapple and banana cake and a cup of aromatic coffee in my favourite bookshop completed the bliss on this sleepy hot and humid Sunday afternoon in Port. The wet season is just a sultry breath away.
I came to the conclusion… I’m just going to get on with my life the best way I know how. Simply by getting on with it. And trying as hard as I can to be true to myself whilst trying not to hurt anyone else or get too hurt myself along the way.
This is the best I can do for now.
In striving to live an authentic life…the life we are meant to live…
there can be no regrets… and no apologies necessary
- Jean Burman 2010
PS Guess what? Remember the airline commercial? Well I just received an email that they’re using my footage… go figure… could this be the beginning of a whole new career? (((chuckles)))
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
You are an amazing woman Jean Burman – and I am the richer for knowing you. In fact I reckon anyone who meets you and gets to know you is truly blessed – and can bask in the warmth and real love that you so generously exude (to everyone around you). I truly wish I could offer as much to people. One day perhaps. Soon hopefully. May God Bless you richly and abundantly in your journey this year and the years ahead. Love, T
Lovely post, Jean, made all the more special because the struggle is so universal. We’re all here making the best of it. I always come roaring back to the idea that this is it, so we’d better just grab it and enjoy it before it goes by. I’m not sure of this will make any sense, but one day I heard someone on the radio talking about a six word biography project. People were invited to send the story of their lives to a certain website, told in exactly six words. I got to thinking, and realized it’s an amazing way to get a perspective on oneself. I came up with this: “Many people are living my life.”
He has already blessed me richly and abundantly Ty by delivering into my life so many people who love and care about me and wish me all the best. It’s a conscious decision I guess to live a loving life despite the very real risk of getting hurt. But you know? What point closing off to it? Life is short and we need to get on with it. We won’t get another chance to live it all over again. Holding onto the bad stuff is not good for the soul. Thank you for your warm words of endorsement and encouragement. You are a good friend x
Yes John. You are so very right. Life is nothing if not the universal struggle to simply get on with it the best way we can. We are all pretty much in the same boat. Your roaring back to the idea that “this is it” is a good wake up call. We do need to grab onto it and enjoy every thing we can… even the incredibly sad/bad bits because… as an artist you know as well as I… that it’s the full spectrum of tonal values that delivers the most powerful punch in a successful painting. Without the dark there can be no light. Our challenge is to bring out that light. Trust me to give the artistic analogy… but you get the picture I know! LOL
Six words? I had thought 100 words might do it… but six? Grin. I absolutely love what you came up with. That is profound. What a great exercise…
Jean – at last – and it was sure worth waiting for. Glad you did not use that music !!! I love that you can articulate what so many of us at times struggle with. Catch up when I return as I am sure it will be back to “Whites Bootcamp” – think of me at breakfast – Love Jackie x
Thanks Jackie… shall miss your happy company as we slog it out on Saturday. Heck… you know what? We shall miss your happy company – period! Love the laughs… makes my tummy hurt. So for breakfast… what do you think… shall I make it sensible eggs… or buttermilk pancakes… or go all out with the banana bread raspberries and marscapone cheese drizzled with honey? Hmmm…. what to choose…. what to choose… (((chuckles))) Enjoy the weekend… have fun on the Coast! x
John… have been thinking about those six words. What would I say if there were only six words to tell my story with? Well… to date I might say something like I lived I loved I learned. But tomorrow it might be something more like my life is an open book… but then I would be compelled to add the very next day turn the page and read on. I guess when we are at our best we are constantly evolving. That’s what I like about flux. It makes us uncomfortable enough to get out there and do something about it. Thanks for making me think about it…
Anyone else want to give this a try? Oh come on… it’s only six little words. That’s not much across a lifetime! LOL
I will steal one. I will worry about that tomorrow. Roger
(((chuckles))) I like it… I REALLY like it! [avoidance works for me as well]
So great to see you Roger
Where have you been? [South of France? Canal du midi?]
Jean, I love “turn the page and read on. ” And good one, Roger. (BTW, Jean, lovely photo of you.) Here’s one I especially liked (not mine, alas): “Tried it all at least once.”
Hey… I like that one too! Has a kind of brave maverick ring to it. Thanks for the compliment John I took it myself (sad eh – grin)
Nowhere since the jazz cruise sketches in the calendar. I am heading for the British Virgin Islands next week for a week on a beach. I have been there several times sailing but only once at a resort.
Sounds wonderful Roger. My son has just moved to Sydney. He really wants to live on Sint Maarten (Saint Martin). Hope one day he will realise he can do just that. Might actually go myself. He said I could come too. (((chuckles)))