Jean Burman

cartoon - pen & watercolour 9″ x 12″

Artwork & content Copyright Jean Burman 2008

Okay… I needed a spiel to put with the cartoon… so here goes.

It was something said over on John’s blog the other day which tripped this off.

Ellie commented and I quote:

“Real work” is a stay-at-home mom raising children. No pay…hardly any respect, but molding the lives of those who will determine our future.

My reply was predictable given my passion for the subject:

here here Ellie. Odd isn’t it? That the most important occupation on the planet receives the least attention and respect.

The Govt. here pays for childcare so both parents can go out to “work”. It doesn’t make sense. Why not pay the mother to do the job… after all she is best equipped to look after her own children. But what woman wants to live at the bottom of the food chain?

It’s time for a change of attitude… the future depends on it.

To which Lee replied:

Jean, Ellie, in my opinion the housewife and mother is the unsung hero of this nation. Strange to say that if there is no cash rewards, the job is not honored. Very mixed up world that we live in nowadays.

It occurred to me then… that this was not only a subject I felt passionate about. It was in all likelihood… a subject that lots of people felt passionate about! And especially those who have been through it. Motherhood that is. And the stay-at-home kind of motherhood… in particular.

It has always puzzled me… how a “valid” occupation… one that requires such a great deal of self sacrifice… (but which also “sets a person up” for success in so many different spheres of life)… can be so looked down upon and disregarded by society as a whole.

The brief for the job afterall… is extensive and exhaustive.

Applicants must be on call 24 hours per day 7 days per week 52 weeks per year for the term of one’s natural life (!)

The pay is lousy… (save for those priceless snuggles and adoringly cute little smiles)

Furthermore… in alphabetical order… applicants must be proficient in

(although one does have a lifetime in which to hone these skills… by the end of such time… one will be expected to have achieved excellence)

accounting/ bookkeeping and animal husbandry: breastfeeding/ burping and Bpay: cooking/ cleaning/ counselling and costume design: dress making and driving instruction: environmental management and the emptying of lunchboxes:

firefighting (the ability to “extinguish” between real and metaphorical in this area will be viewed favourably) garbage collection: hairdressing and homework administration: hostel management and homeopathy: isolation therapy and ironing: journalism and jury duty:

kitchen duties (including the ability to mindfully study the dynamic of the humble plughole - sometimes for hours on end - in the event of the dishwasher failing to work): laundry work and lecturing: market research/ maintenance and mathematics: naturopathy/ nannying and

nuclear medicine (essential for those somewhat curly 3rd grade science projects): pharmacology/ picture framing/ petrol pumping and plumbing: quarantining: recycling/ re-roofing/ re-tailing/ re-turning/ re-routing/ re-placing/ and let’s not forget “refusing” (and any number of other skills… too many to list… beginning with “re”…

which of course implies correctly that whatever the skill was in the first place… it must be done a-g-a-i-n) ~sigh~ and *wink*

in addition to (hah… thought I was done didn’t you?)

sewing/singing/ sports coaching/ stockbroking/ street cleaning/ speech therapy and surgery: taxi driving/telephony/anything to do with the theatre and toxicology: video production/vehicle maintenance and veterinary nursing: waitressing/web design/waste water recycling and window cleaning/and last but not least on the list…

zookeeping… which believe it or not is a pre-requisite skill for keeping the household in order… each in his or her own place… and at the feedbox at the appropriate time!

image - courtesy of lomokev Flickr

With all these skills clearly in abundance in the everyday stay-at-home Mum… can somebody please tell me why then… when mothers decide to re-enter paid employment they are so often [condescendingly] advised to re-skill? Re-skill? Re-skill for what? Having spent any number of years between 1 and 20… multi-tasking jobs at a rate their opposite gender counterparts could only ever dream about… who needs to re-skill?

Mothers are not only the Salt of the Earth…

they are the Spice of Life!

They are what makes the world go round!

Mothers should be placed up ON a pedestal… (not positioned in front of one with a brush!) *wink*

They are the people who are responsible for raising the people of the future. Their contribution must be valued.

And women need to cut each other some slack here too! Women should not be made to feel inferior and small for choosing to stay at home to do the very real work of rearing the family… and they must not be “guilted” into a return to paid work… (or a career)… in order to win society’s regard. [That's not to say that those who do choose to (or must) return to paid work should not be respected and supported in their decision to do so]

Motherhood… in all it’s modern day variations and forms… is still a hallowed institution… worthy of courtesy and deep respect.

So as the world hangs in the balance “awaiting the pendulum swing” that will see Mothers the world over treated with the equal respect they deserve… the future of human civilisation continues to depend upon them. Therefore it may not be too far fetched to suggest that the successful outcomes for generations to come… may hinge upon a Mother’s success at doing her job… (learning and adapting as she goes)… and doing it exceedingly well.

And as blind freddy can plainly see… that’s a rather BIG job in any man’s language! (chuckles)

“All that I am or hope to be… I owe to my Mother” - Abraham Lincoln

The short and the long of it is… we don’t always get what we want… but we do seem to get what we need!

artwork & content Copyright Jean Burman 2008
cartoon - pen & watercolour 9″ x 12″

This thought (and the resultant irreverent cartoon) occurred to me out of the blue on my evening walk late yesterday as I “fell in” along the path behind a couple of women whose differences struck me as being uncharacteristically comical!

Please don’t get me wrong… I am not meaning to be unkind! But following along behind the pair at a cracking pace… it struck me that these two women… (one top heavy and the other one… well… you know… kinda the other way round… ~grin~) were more than probably chasing the same impossible ideal! The insolent thought flashed through my mind… ‘now if only it were possible for them to swap upper torsos…’ but mercifully the thought flashed out again before my subconscious reproof could find it’s voice… (and I’m eternally grateful for that ~grin~)

But it just didn’t seem fair! And it didn’t seem right either that in all probability… it wouldn’t have mattered how much exercise the two were to do… the outcome would more than likely still be the same. The facts are… we are each of us stamped with the maker’s mark and try as we might… we simply can’t change the way we’re made!

We had passed the 2.5 kilometre mark… (me bringing up the rear with not an icecube’s hope in hell of passing them) by the time I decided… ever the artist and interested people watcher… that it was way more interesting [anyway] to be back here listening out of earshot… to the lovely lilt of muffled conversation and watching from my unusual vantage point ~grin~ the animated gestures of these two good friends.

I had decided by now that they were in fact good friends… the easy flow of barely audible conversation bubbled over between them in such a joyful and infectious way!

By the 3 kilometre mark we had really hit our stride… and it was right about then that I had the epiphany. This walk had nothing whatsoever to do with the mere shape of a body… or the physical differences between the two… (or even getting fit for that matter).

But it had everything to do with what most of us have in some measure (and hopefully don’t take too much for granted)… the camaraderie of friendship and time spent talking and laughing together… and the sense of “belonging” that having good friends brings.

These two were champions at it! And that’s got to be better than being “a perfect 6″ any old day of the week don’t you think?

artwork & content Copyright Jean Burman 2008

artwork & content Copyright Jean Burman 2007

Well it’s that time of year again… already! That time… when all is calm and all is bright… when sleigh bells ring (if you’re listening)… and the snow is a’ glistening…. and it’s a beautiful sight and we’re happy tonight cos we’re walking in a winter wonderland… ahhhhh… *sigh*

….zzzzzzzzzrrrrrrrrruuuuppppppp… Huh?

Yeah… right-o then! Cos nothing… but nothing could be further from the truth in the “blistering” heat of a true blue Aussie Christmas… (whatever a true blue Aussie Christmas is… that is!)

Many have tried over the years to analyse just what constitutes Christmas in the Antipodes but the quintessential Aussie Christmas is still a bit of a mystery (even to we Aussies) steeped as it is in the stereotype of the time honoured tradition of backyard barbies and brawls with the rellies… as the heat-induced stress-stroke of the season sets in! Some people do go a little troppo at this time of the year from the heat… others are pretty much dingo-bango all year round… (but that’s another story for another day)

But whoever we are… it is a perplexing and confusing time of the year for most Aussies… as traditional images of a Northern Hemisphere Christmas are seen emblazened across everything from billboards to greeting cards… and fir trees sprinkled with fake snow line the supermarket aisles and even the streets!

Many have tried in the past to shake these “frozen” images from our social consciousness by replacing Santa’s reindeer with the old “six white boomers routine” (they’re kangaroos in case you were wondering) and replacing the words of favourite christmas carols with improvised aussie lyrics (all of which simply just don’t wash).

And so it would apparently seem… as the big day approaches… here we all are “high and wrung out to dry” in our stubbies singlets and thongs waiting on our surfboards for the next wave!

But perhaps this is far too theatrical a description of Christmas… celebrated here (as it is) in high summer… and the truth probably lies somewhere vaguely… well… somewhere else!

So to put paid to all myths and stereotypes… in reality

92% of Aussies eat Christmas Dinner in the comfort of their air conditioned homes where

70% will enjoy traditionally cooked Christmas Fare including turkey, baked ham and Christmas Pud!

56% of us agree that spending time with family and friends is the very best thing about Christmas.

Less than 10% of Aussies say that giving and receiving of presents is the highlight of the day (kids were obviously not consulted in this survey! -grin-)

75% expect to eat too much (ah but a moment on the lips… then forever on the hips!)

and only 43% are annoyed by the heat (there was however no mention of flies!)

And when asked to sum up their feelings for Christmas in just one word… these words were the most commonly expressed…

HAPPY - EXCITING - SPECIAL - FUN - FAMILY - RELAXING - EXHAUSTING - HECTIC - WONDERFUL - JOYFUL - FANTASTIC - ENJOYABLE…

Clearly… we are a pretty confused bunch! But when it comes down to the wire… I guess you could say that Aussies celebrate Christmas pretty much like everyone else on the planet… it may be hot as hell… but we just get around it by getting on with having a great time!

IT’S BEEN A BUSY 18 DAYS SINCE MY LAST POST

during which time…

1. I helped my brother sell and pack up the family beach house at Bingil Bay which was built by my Dad and two brothers in 1980 on a block of land my parents bought back in 1974 (to ease their pain and provide a focus) two years after the tragic death of my older brother. With Mum and Dad now gone there seemed little point in holding onto it any longer. There was always the ongoing maintenance of a house near the sea… and the need for someone to make the 2 hour journey on a regular basis to keep a check on things. It was time.
So it has been an emotionally charged couple of weeks… packing up the last of our family memories from over that time… all of which are now neatly contained within the four sides of two tightly packed tea chests containing photographs and precious letters of our exchanges over the years. Maybe one day I will find the strength and courage to read them all again!

Many of you will remember how Cyclone Larry passed through the area 18 months ago. Here is our little beach house after the storm!

… and here it is 18 months later (there is no accounting for the rejuvenative powers of the tropics!)

2. I also hosted a Christmas Lunch for 60 for the First Wednesday Lunch Club (held on the second Wednesday of course! -grin-)… for which I also baked, iced and decorated the Christmas Cake. Man… was that a production! And I am definitely not about to give up my day job. Up to my elbows in mixed chopped fruit… I was high as a kite for a week on the “wafting aroma” of over-proof rum and cognac! Here is the finished work!

So… all in all it’s been a hectic lead up to Christmas here… but I have managed to decorate our home with Christmas cheer… despite the fact we don’t have a Christmas tree this year… as someone (who shall remain nameless cos I’m going to kill him -grin-)… in his over-enthusiastic efforts to clear out the garage managed to jettison the neatly-boxed and clearly-marked “Christmas Tree” into the skip bin destined for the landfill! I sent him out to look for it… but so far NO LUCK! I could go out and buy a new one… but where would be the fun in that!? *wink* and (big cheeky grin)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE - may the joy of the season be overwhelming!

Following on from our discussion of language… here’s something interesting for the literary inclined…

It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Interesting eh?

And this… for the artistically inclined. Don’t forget to watch it right through… awesome eh?

The artist is Dan Dunne. Now that should keep you all busy until I get my next article up! LOL

artwork & content Copyright Jean Burman 2007

What a funny thing language is! In a world where over 6800 languages are spoken across 200 different countries… you would expect there to be a whole lot of c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-i-n-g going on… (and you would be right!)

But not so in the 46 or so English speaking countries of the world where it would seem that our language is the only glue that sticks us all together… but understanding each other has become “a challenge” at one end of the spectrum… and a “unique” and “virtually incomprehensible” artform at the other!

Take for instance… the example of the hapless aussie huddled in a phone booth late at night somewhere (read ~lost~) in downtown Edinburgh Scotland. As the rain thunders down he huddles closer to make the call that would surely save he and the family from a cold night on the street… the street that they had driven up and down and round and round at least a dozen or so times that night. He places the call to the hotel while “the fam” waits in the car.

“Hello? hello? Oh g’day… can y’ hear me?” he bellows down the phone.
Yes… yes… “we hear you” groans the fam… and so can everyone else within spitting distance of the proverbial black stump!

“Yeah yeah we got a booking but we don’t know where t’ go. Yep yep… yep… eh?”

O-oh this was not going well.

“… beg yours? … yep… okay… eh?… errr… beg yours?… repeat that if yer can… slower this time… ehhhh?”

*sigh* Thought to self… “if he says ‘beg yours’ one more time I’m gonna get out of this car and whack him repeatedly over the head with this rather large pile of street maps” I mean… what does that mean? Precisely… it means nothing!

It was at this point that this aussie decided he would never be able to communicate with the Scots despite the commonality of our language and heritage (consequently… I handled it from there!)

As for me… I like to think of my accent as being somewhat “international” (ahem) having been mistaken for someone else in 33 languages! The Americans thought I was English, the Irish thought I was American, the French thought I was German (despite the distinctly “strine” twang in my schoolgirl French), the English thought I was one of those “dreadful savages” from South Africa (but that’s another story ~grin~) and the Scots just thought I was more than a little bit queer… (in the straight sense of the word tho) *wink*

But fortunately for we hapless aussies (stumbling around dropping consonants and flattening vowels)… wherever we went we were (once our nationality had been established) welcomed with open arms. The French and the Irish (having at least one thing in common) were grateful we weren’t English… and the Irish were grateful we weren’t American! Sheesh… never before had I ever been so totally accepted by default! LOL

This week I watched a rather fascinating documentary “The Sounds of Aus” which took a perilously close look at the quirks and peculiarities of the aussie accent. Apparently… we have the most difficult accent of all to emulate… our “unique” flat sound resonating from a somewhat lazy soft palate! hmmmm…. that’s definitely something to keep in mind… ~grin~

Anyway… the upshot of it all seems to be that over the 200 or so years of our short tenure here on this continent we have collectively

“shed the cultural cringe that made the “received pronunciation” of the English upper class a kind of linguistic role model”

Strewth… that’s a relief…

and “nor is the Ocker accent as important as it once was in defining our national voice – fewer of us speak like Hoges or Steve Irwin”

Crikey… it’s about time… I was getting kinda sick of jumping crocs and simply haven’t got the strength to toss one more shrimp on the barbie… *sigh*

And while the aussie accent has become deregulated and is open to an unprecedented array of influences from across the globe
‘it is unlikely that exposure to American culture or other global forces will diminish what makes it distinctive.’

Heysup dude… we’s got our own crib! *wink* LOL

So it seems… we aussies can breathe a sigh of relief that our language (along with the economy) not only remains intact… but has come into it’s own!

But that doesn’t mean we will have to stop speaking Queenslandish does it? (Man… what planet are we on?)

Ahhhh… Queensland… beautiful one day… perfect the next… where a bludger’s a bloke who gets to pike out on his shout because the hole in the wall didn’t work… and he’s packing it because the rellies have packed their togs and are bringing a port from the big smoke in brissie this arvo… and he looks like a dag in his stubbies and thongs after a day sinking tinnies with his mates, doing doughnuts in his ute, and chucking U-ees in the street… sussing out the new wheels and taking a squizz under the bonnet… before going to the footy and crashing at the mate’s.

Yep… clear as mud…

But y’know… she’ll be right mate!