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family

The heart of the matter

September 9, 2008 · 9 comments

A brand new day – daybreak over Dunk Island Aug 29

How amazing is the human heart!

Serious illness aside… it beats away relentlessly inside the chest across the course of our natural life.

It will keep on beating even though we might neglect it.

It will keep on beating even though we might ignore what it is telling us.

It will keep on beating even though it might ache.

And it will keep on beating long after it is broken.

It may skip a beat or two here and there… but that won’t make it stop.

It even beats without our knowing it… when we are fast asleep!

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It may become hardened by cynicism.

Yet it can be warmed by a simple act of kindness.

It can be stirred by enthusiasm.

And moved by the inspiration of a single thought.

It can endure disappointment.

And can be strengthened by conviction.

It may suffer terrible loss… but that won’t make it stop.

It will keep on beating… year after year after year.

No matter what.

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What man-made machine could ever do that?

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Through triumph and tragedy… the strength of the human heart… and the resilience of the human spirit shines through.

Tears welled in my eyes…

when I read how 41 year old Amalia Filloy handed up her young daughter Maria to firefighter Francisco Martinez for safekeeping… as she herself lay dying in the wreckage of Spanair flight JK5022… less than three weeks ago. Maria’s 14 year old sister was already dead. How strong this mother’s heart that it would not stop beating until she had secured the safety of her only remaining child. My thoughts turned to my son who had recently been in the place where she and her family were travelling to. I was thinking… there but for the grace of God go I. I wonder if I could have been so strong?

And again the other night…

as I heard the story of how a young man’s parents bravely bid goodbye to their 20 year old son and (as was his wish)… made way for the donation of his organs to four grateful recipients. Doujon Zammit’s life was cut short whilst holidaying with his mates on the Greek island of Mykonos where he was senselessly set upon, bashed and killed by a nightclub bouncer. His parents indescribable pain at the loss of their beautiful son in a faraway country… was soothed by the gift of life that Doujon himself had insisted upon.

When his mother and father travelled to Greece to meet the young man who received their son’s strong beating heart… Doujon’s mother took the man’s hand in hers… and placed it over his new beating heart. All three wept for the senseless loss of life that had [paradoxically] brought new hope and the promise of a new life to another such young man… living in this far off distant land.

Doujon may have died that day… but his heart beats on. And the love that his parents shared with four total strangers will keep their son’s memory alive. Still… their own weary hearts will beat laboriously on… through grief and sadness and irreparable loss.

As a mother… I pray that my heart will never be tested in this cruel way. Hearts never mend… but they do go on. Even when we might not want them to. I have sometimes heard parents say when they have lost (or are losing) a child… that they wish it could have been them. My own parents said it. I know what they meant.

It seems far too easy to become caught up in the trivial day to day issues and struggles that besiege us all. Sometimes it’s good to remember what’s really important… and to give thanks for that. Life might not be perfect but I have a sneaking suspicion it’s not meant to be. Besides… it’s all we have!

Our hearts will keep on beating (no matter what)… until our time is up. Until then… we might take a lesson from that heart of ours… and never ever give up.

May the beat go on!

Sixty Minutes Part 1

Sixty Minutes Part 2

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p1000827-1.JPG
cartoon – pen & watercolour 9″ x 12″

Artwork & content Copyright Jean Burman 2008

Okay… I needed a spiel to put with the cartoon… so here goes.

It was something said over on John’s blog the other day which tripped this off.

Ellie commented and I quote:

“Real work” is a stay-at-home mom raising children. No pay…hardly any respect, but molding the lives of those who will determine our future.

My reply was predictable given my passion for the subject:

here here Ellie. Odd isn’t it? That the most important occupation on the planet receives the least attention and respect.

The Govt. here pays for childcare so both parents can go out to “work”. It doesn’t make sense. Why not pay the mother to do the job… after all she is best equipped to look after her own children. But what woman wants to live at the bottom of the food chain?

It’s time for a change of attitude… the future depends on it.

To which Lee replied:

Jean, Ellie, in my opinion the housewife and mother is the unsung hero of this nation. Strange to say that if there is no cash rewards, the job is not honored. Very mixed up world that we live in nowadays.

It occurred to me then… that this was not only a subject I felt passionate about. It was in all likelihood… a subject that lots of people felt passionate about! And especially those who have been through it. Motherhood that is. And the stay-at-home kind of motherhood… in particular.

It has always puzzled me… how a “valid” occupation… one that requires such a great deal of self sacrifice… (but which also “sets a person up” for success in so many different spheres of life)… can be so looked down upon and disregarded by society as a whole.

The brief for the job afterall… is extensive and exhaustive.

Applicants must be on call 24 hours per day 7 days per week 52 weeks per year for the term of one’s natural life (!)

The pay is lousy… (save for those priceless snuggles and adoringly cute little smiles)

Furthermore… in alphabetical order… applicants must be proficient in

(although one does have a lifetime in which to hone these skills… by the end of such time… one will be expected to have achieved excellence)

accounting/ bookkeeping and animal husbandry: breastfeeding/ burping and Bpay: cooking/ cleaning/ counselling and costume design: dress making and driving instruction: environmental management and the emptying of lunchboxes:

firefighting (the ability to “extinguish” between real and metaphorical in this area will be viewed favourably) garbage collection: hairdressing and homework administration: hostel management and homeopathy: isolation therapy and ironing: journalism and jury duty:

kitchen duties (including the ability to mindfully study the dynamic of the humble plughole – sometimes for hours on end – in the event of the dishwasher failing to work): laundry work and lecturing: market research/ maintenance and mathematics: naturopathy/ nannying and

nuclear medicine (essential for those somewhat curly 3rd grade science projects): pharmacology/ picture framing/ petrol pumping and plumbing: quarantining: recycling/ re-roofing/ re-tailing/ re-turning/ re-routing/ re-placing/ and let’s not forget “refusing” (and any number of other skills… too many to list… beginning with “re”…

which of course implies correctly that whatever the skill was in the first place… it must be done a-g-a-i-n) ~sigh~ and *wink*

 

in addition to (hah… thought I was done didn’t you?)

sewing/singing/ sports coaching/ stockbroking/ street cleaning/ speech therapy and surgery: taxi driving/telephony/anything to do with the theatre and toxicology: video production/vehicle maintenance and veterinary nursing: waitressing/web design/waste water recycling and window cleaning/and last but not least on the list…

zookeeping… which believe it or not is a pre-requisite skill for keeping the household in order… each in his or her own place… and at the feedbox at the appropriate time!

monkey-business.jpg
image – courtesy of lomokev Flickr

With all these skills clearly in abundance in the everyday stay-at-home Mum… can somebody please tell me why then… when mothers decide to re-enter paid employment they are so often [condescendingly] advised to re-skill? Re-skill? Re-skill for what? Having spent any number of years between 1 and 20… multi-tasking jobs at a rate their opposite gender counterparts could only ever dream about… who needs to re-skill?

salt-pepper-and-spice.jpg

Mothers are not only the Salt of the Earth…

they are the Spice of Life!

They are what makes the world go round!

Mothers should be placed up ON a pedestal… (not positioned in front of one with a brush!) *wink*

They are the people who are responsible for raising the people of the future. Their contribution must be valued.

And women need to cut each other some slack here too! Women should not be made to feel inferior and small for choosing to stay at home to do the very real work of rearing the family… and they must not be “guilted” into a return to paid work… (or a career)… in order to win society’s regard. [That's not to say that those who do choose to (or must) return to paid work should not be respected and supported in their decision to do so]

Motherhood… in all it’s modern day variations and forms… is still a hallowed institution… worthy of courtesy and deep respect.

So as the world hangs in the balance “awaiting the pendulum swing” that will see Mothers the world over treated with the equal respect they deserve… the future of human civilisation continues to depend upon them. Therefore it may not be too far fetched to suggest that the successful outcomes for generations to come… may hinge upon a Mother’s success at doing her job… (learning and adapting as she goes)… and doing it exceedingly well.

And as blind freddy can plainly see… that’s a rather BIG job in any man’s language! (chuckles)

“All that I am or hope to be… I owe to my Mother” – Abraham Lincoln

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