Grace is the human quality we all hope to have when life delivers us [inevitably as it will] into circumstances for which we might previously have thought we would be unprepared and unable to cope. It almost always comes as a huge surprise then… when we are given the courage and strength to prevail in spite of it. It is grace which allows us to smile while deep inside our heart is breaking. Grace allows us to endure. Life is not a steady race. Not for any of us. But it is grace which will see us through.
It is grace which has found me
It is grace which will carry me though…
Art sustains me. And writing. Both are steady occupations in an unsteady world. And I am happy with my progress. I am learning to let go of outcomes. To let things be.
I am learning that life is greater than the sum of all it’s many (un)equal parts. It requires us to submit to the big picture. For what is life if not a big picture with many elements?
Sometimes the words tumble out and the paint flows easily… other times I struggle. Some works will never make it. They were never meant to be. I let them go. But it’s never a wasted effort. For the one great truth in life is that without failure there can be no success. No progress.
And the greatest joy of all will be when the sum of all our failure and success delivers to our easel the masterpiece that [in hindsight] was our life’s best work.
Below is the work of my youngest student yet. Four and a half year old Lilli painted with me for an hour this morning at the Reef House. She was a fast learner and needed only a little bit of help with the basic sketch. She simply “got it”… and even remembered from yesterday me telling another student to turn the brush on it’s side to get the right angle for the striations on the trunk of the palm tree. Amazing! I love to teach.
I ain’t got no home, ain’t got no shoes
Ain’t got no money, ain’t got no class
Ain’t got no skirts, ain’t got no sweater
Ain’t got no perfume, ain’t got no beer
Ain’t got no mind
Ain’t got no mother, ain’t got no culture
Ain’t got no friends, ain’t got no schooling
Ain’t got no love, ain’t got no name
Ain’t got no ticket, ain’t got no token
Ain’t got no God
Then what have I got?
Why am I alive anyway?
Yeah, what have I got?
Nobody can take away!
I got my hair, got my head
got my brains, got my ears
got my eyes, got my nose
got my mouth… I got mysmile!
I got my tongue, got my chin
got my neck, got my boobs
got my heart, got my soul
got my back… I got myself
I got my arms, got my hands
got my fingers, got my legs
got my feet, got my toes
got my liver… I got my blood
I’ve got life… I’ve got my freedom
I’ve got life!
I’ve got life… and I’m gonna keep it!
I’ve got life… and nobody’s gonna take it away
I’ve got LIFE!
Nina Simone – Ain’t Got No/I Got Life
artwork & content Copyright Jean Burman 2007
I went off to Boarding School at the tender age of 12. Life was very simple back then. For 15 weeks straight… three terms per year… we weren’t allowed out of the grounds. I learned all about homesickness… and the true meaning of “heartache”. I learned what it was to be hungry (although you could never have said we were deprived – nonetheless the Boarder’s collective starvation was the stuff of legend in the Day School! LOL) We were laughed about and pitied… (it was only as adults we learned how the day girls admired us and envied our life as Boarders at our school). Consequently I learned what it was to be alienated. I learned what it was to be cold… and knew how it felt to be lonely. I learned what it was to be sad. I learned how to live in a small space… and how to consider others. You could say I learned a lot about life!
It wasn’t that Boarding School wasn’t fun… it was. And coming from a family of boys… it was wonderful to find myself all of a sudden with so many “sisters”. It was the place where I learned to live simply. I learned to find joy in the company of others. I learned what it was to long for home whilst at the same time being “at home” already. I learned to be happy doing fun things together… planning concerts and movie nights… dances and games nights… and silly things like pyjama parties… and the conspiratorial camaraderie of the midnight feast!
I even learned how to short-sheet a bed!
The best thing about it was… I survived. We all survived. Some people aren’t so lucky. There are tragedies in life that some may never recover from. But even the scars that never quite heal serve a purpose to shape us into the people that we are.
However… I believe as a whole we Boarders came out alright…. and despite the intervening years and our vastly divergent paths… a small group of us now get together once a month for coffee and a chat… over 1200 kilometres from the school whose goal it was to shape us into educated “young ladies”!
Our first few conversations after all those years consisted of reminiscences of our time at Boarding School… but over time that changed. Now when we get together we talk about life and the living of it here and now… the occurrences and happenings that pile one on top of the other to form “the stuff” of our everyday lives now. We remember the good things. And the bad things… (like only being allowed to wash our hair once a week) are now just something to laugh about. Thank God for rose-coloured glasses!
Those years taught me how to laugh and they taught me how to cry. In a way… those years fitted me out for life… and the ebb and flow of the human experience. More than anything the experience taught me “gratitude”. And that’s a lot for a kid to learn.
It was a particularly sparkly July morning. The sleepy red sun had risen earlier over a languid blue sea… and by mid morning… I found myself standing knee deep in the cool, clear shallows of the lagoon which had formed along the beach. The lagoon had not been there long… perhaps only a few short weeks or months. I marvelled at the changes since my last visit.
Botticelli Sea Garden – Copyright Jean Burman 2007
The beach changes frequently here… the sand shifting in response to the tide. With it’s incessant swirling and circling… the sea forms the sand into bars and creates pools along the beach where once there was none… and where all manner of marine creatures now exist. How they know when to come… and (more importantly) when to go… I have no idea… but I suppose there will always be those who are lost in the ever changing transition between the sea and the shore
As I stood knee deep in silent contemplation…scanning the horizon and breathing in the fresh beginnings of the day… I felt a rather strange sensation beneath my feet. I looked down… standing perfectly still so as not to disturb the water in order to see… and was all at once amazed and horrified at what I saw. Beneath my feet… and beyond… for as far as the eye could see… were millions and millions of tiny starfish! No bigger than the palm of a child’s hand… they lay scattered like precious jewels flung into the sea… stretching far and away across the sandy bottom.
As I stood there unable to move a muscle… and fearing to take a step should I inadvertently step on one… I marvelled at the fact that I had not noticed them upon entering the pool… as their small, flat, half buried shapes lay silently on the sandy bottom in perfect camouflage with their surroundings.
What to do… should I go… or should I stay? Common sense finally dictated that I couldn’t stay there forever… so with great trepidation and by placing my feet with very great care… I picked my way out of the pool as carefully as I could. It occurred to me afterward that perhaps I needn’t have been quite so concerned as, on occasion, when my foot inadvertently encountered one buried deep in the sand… the starfish slipped effortlessly to safety from beneath the weight. Nature has it’s way.
Back on the beach… the warm sand between my toes… I contemplated the miracle of what I had just seen. From this distance the lagoon pool was motionless… and gave no hint at the tiny miracles that lay beneath. From here… it appeared to be just another day in paradise… but for me… I knew there would never be another day like it.
The Starfish – [attributed to Loren Eisley]
Once upon a time there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to write. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach… he saw a man dancing on the sand. He smiled to himself to think someone would dance on the beach… so he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer… he saw that he was only a young man… and he wasn’t dancing. Instead… he was reaching down and picking something up… and gently throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer he called out “Good morning… what are you doing?”
The young man paused… looked up and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean…the sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”
The old man then remarked “But young man don’t you realise that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!” The young man listened politely… then bent down and picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea.
“Reflections of Paradise” SOLD
