love

“For all of us who are alive, life is the real issue. Yet so often we judge our existence by the things that happen to us—by whether things are going our way or not. Sometimes we feel strong—strong enough to dictate our future. Sometimes we feel that we can make things happen. Then there are times when we feel totally helpless. But through all the dramas and bumps, there is life. [Right there] is the very powerful, very existence of every single human being.” – Prem Rawat

I believe that people come into and go out of our lives for a reason. Just what that reason is… and what it might mean for us into the future… is often so difficult to understand at the time.

I also firmly believe there is a divine purpose to every single human encounter. That nothing is ever for nothing. And every experience happy or sad goes toward the eventual telling of our own unique life story.

Twenty days into 2010… it’s already been quite a year for me!

As the aircraft took off into the clear blue afternoon sky my heart was heavy. So I put on my headphones… looked out of the window and listened to the inflight music as the sad grey cloak of the city dropped away beneath me and the plane turned sharply toward home.  [No Jackie... I promise I won't play the music here. grin]

I had been hoping a week in the city might bring some clearer definition to my life. I was feeling incredibly restless and impatient to get on with things… and felt bogged down and in need of a break.

As the plane tracked north over the Great Barrier Reef… the joy of realising that I was returning to [arguably] one of the most beautiful locations on Planet Earth filled me with renewed optimism and hope for the future.

Gazing out over the incredible majesty of the Reef… I felt the fire in my belly return after a protracted period of wondering “Where To Now?” It felt good to be going home… even if “home” for me is still a somewhat abstract ideal. Grin.

Maybe the city isn’t for me just yet.

Maybe it never will be.

[Interesting how I took no photos while there - yet here that's all I do]

But it was an interesting week of serendipitous occurrences and bittersweet times that ended all too soon.

On the first day I walked to the Gardens and managed to get myself caged in by workmen erecting fences around its perimeter for an events company. It was something quite hilarious being the only one trapped on the inside trying to get out!

That afternoon I saw a man [decked out in a business suit] row his dinghy across the river to a small yacht moored in the middle [it struck me as something kind of wonderful - here was a man living on a boat in the middle of the concrete jungle - yet so very much on his own terms!]

Throughout the week I caught up with a number of people… and coincidentally bumped into a friend from out of town whom I hadn’t seen in years… not once but twice on different occasions… in the very same spot in the middle of the city. How on earth does that happen?

We celebrated the chances over high tea at the Rose “something or other” in an upstairs arcade… joined by a good friend I [never] knew at boarding school but now know really quite well. It’s complicated.

I rediscovered the toy department through the eyes of a child.

And held a small hand at the shops. How lovely!

I walked for miles in ridiculous shoes and got blisters all over my feet.

I had lunch with my 96 year old aunt [who still paints]… and cousins from all over the place I hadn’t seen in almost forever.

I saw two movies [one with a profound message despite the crazy 3D glasses - the other the story of Keats]

I swam in a freezing cold pool with a wonderful friend… then thawed out in a hot spa. We caught the night ferry… ate out a lot… and talked for hours on end about a number of things.

I met a man in a wheelchair [with the most beautiful smile] who simply GOT life better than most people I know. He had it all figured out better than anyone. There were things he simply just knew.  And although he didn’t know me at all… I knew that he knew I “knew” too. Now go figure that one out! Grin.

I spent time with my daughter who came up for a couple of days from the Coast. We always get on like a house on fire. This time was no different.

Her profound observation of the current doings in my life… was that my Universe [of late] “sure was delivering me lessons at an incredible rate”. I resisted the urge to alert her to the fact that she could have been severely understating it!

Clearly… there are things I am meant to learn… and learn quickly it would seem… [for whatever reason].

So I’ve decided to slow down a bit… and just let things be.  Let the Universe soak in around me.

To this end… back home on Sunday… I drove flat out with the music on full volume along the winding length of the coast road up to Port Douglas [and um… slowing down does not preclude driving fast for medicinal purposes]

What a glorious sense of freedom!

The sea was a millpond and the reflected light exquisite.

This winding stretch of road never fails to lift my spirits.

A piece of freshly baked pineapple and banana cake and a cup of aromatic coffee in my favourite bookshop completed the bliss on this sleepy hot and humid Sunday afternoon in Port.  The wet season is just a sultry breath away.

I came to the conclusion… I’m just going to get on with my life the best way I know how. Simply by getting on with it. And trying as hard as I can to be true to myself whilst trying not to hurt anyone else or get too hurt myself along the way.

This is the best I can do for now.

In striving to live an authentic life…the life we are meant to live…

there can be no regrets… and no apologies necessary

- Jean Burman 2010

PS Guess what?  Remember the airline commercial? Well I just received an email that they’re using my footage… go figure… could this be the beginning of a whole new career?  (((chuckles)))

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